Inside Out

In 2010, after years of thinking about nothing but work, I realized that my physique did not "match" the person I had become. I was doing a job that I really liked and had found balance work x home. However, after years without training and not caring at all about my intake, I had become heavy and unhealthy. In September that year, after annual leave, I got enrolled in a gym and I restarted to workout.

At that time, I did not really care about the quality of the food I was eating yet. I still thought I could outwork a bad diet by training intensively for enough time. It was not before 2012 that I realized once and for all that it was not really the best approach to achieve the results I hoped for.

Now, around one year and a half later, I am facing another phase of my own 'evolution'. I am not living in pink clouds anymore, but I have been rediscovering the joy of taking control of my life.

"Happiness is not the absence of problems; it's the ability to deal with them."

My journey back to my roots includes looking within. We are so much more than what meets the eyes... Concepts like 'being in shape', 'looking good' etc not always determine our health inside. Our organism also suffers from the stress of modern life; our own expectations and of our environment; and from all the substances that we consume on a daily basis. Of course that their impact on us differ depending on how we and our body deals with those external agents.

Me, an assumed workaholic, perfectionist and control freak, do not spontaneous balance things around me. There is no gray in my color scale, just black & white. So for me, and those out there in the same situation, it is necessary to first acknowledge that 'there is more out there' followed by a conscious work of self-forgiving/cleansing/healing.

Detox Your Body

To avoid exerting myself in the processing, I am taking one step a time in this personal journey to becoming a better version of me. At first, I pulled the handbrake (see blog 'Changes are good'). Then, I started to observe my interactions (with people, food and environment) and their outcomes (see 'Trying new things'). Even though these two cycles will always be a work-in-progress, it is time for some action.

One month has passed since I started to approach my intake in a different way. The results are already beyond my expectations for such a short period of time: no more joint pain (I thought I had developed carpal tunnel the past few years), my heart rate is slowly raising again, I haven't been short of breath in weeks, no more tachycardia and despite cardio still being a 'no-no', I managed to do weight training 4 days in a row this week.

"The best is yet to come."

In this detox period, I will start focusing on my liver. Back in Brazil, I was raised drinking Boldo tea, but since it is not that easy to find it here, I need to adapt. This means that for the next weeks (to say the least), my water boiler will be my best friend, together with various tea sorts I have stored in the cupboard, but rarely drink.

This is another small step towards bringing my body back to balance before being to advance in my fitness goals. At first, I took it all as a major set-back. I was overwhelmed by all the tiredness, soreness and pain I was going through. Words are not enough to describe how sad I felt by not being able to train and diet with the same intensity I had been doing since March last year. Looking back though, this has become a very rewarding experience to me. I have been given the opportunity to learn so much. It all forced me to take control of my life and not let external facts dictate how my day will be. In spite of them being my baby-steps, I am moving forward and that is all that matters.